I haz a complaint

It just must have been the day for it. I heard the same question so many times today that I started to wonder if I was in Groundhog Dog or if someone was just messing with me.

Every second person wanted to be introduced to a literary agent (one in four wanted to be introduced to a publisher). Some gentle questioning revealed that in most cases, none of them had actually written anything. Not a short story, not a paragraph, not an article for the local paper or the Girl Guides’ monthly newsletter – certainly not a novel. Cart meet horse.

Having given a lecture today on balancing your work life and your creative life, and having done a large chunk of talking about planning, setting goals, task lists and actually achieving things (helped muchly by Jeff VanderMeer’s Booklife), I kind of took exception to this. I mean, it’s lovely to have decided on the spur of the moment to ‘become’ a writer. It’s cute that some people seem to think it’s (a) easy and (b) the path to instant fame and fortune. But as someone who has devoted a lot of time and energy to learning and improving my craft, and who has made a lot of sacrifices in the past five years to be a writer, it annoyed me to deal with people who were (a) ill-informed, (b) didn’t know that they were ill-informed, and (c) had a sense of entitlement.

Here’s an idea: write first. Build a publications list and a profile/platform. Earn the right to look for an agent. An agent is looking for a book to sell on your behalf – if you don’t have a book, what can you possibly bring to the deal? A sense of entitlement ain’t gonna cut it – a trap for young players, I know. Calling yourself a writer, deciding to be a writer, does not necessarily make you a writer – as is said in Throw Momma From The Train ‘A writer writes’. Go write something, then talk to me. Prove you can do it.

It’s like the Far Side cartoon: pants first, then shoes. Write first, then find agent.

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