Selections from the Glossary to the 1911 Writer’s Market (Beirce, ed) by Matthew David Brozik
Agent, n. 1. The writer’s fiduciary. 2. The publisher’s first line of defense.
Aspire, v. Literally, to breathe; figuratively, to have ambition. The unpublished writer knows them to be the same.
Author tour, n. To the post office for stamps, to the café for espresso, to Mom and Dad for food, to the grandparents for money. . . .
Blues, n. 1. Photographic proofs for the printing plates of others’ books. 2. Your perpetual undeserved affliction.
Book, n. A substantial, handsome, bound validation of another writer’s effort.
The rest lives here http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/11/11brozik.html