Upgrade = a pseudo Old English word meaning 'to screw with your life'

Random rant: the people who mess around with the gas lines are loose in my area. They are digging holes, entering houses, leaving notes in letterboxes that say ‘We’re upgrading’. Last night I get home at 7.30ish to find one such note stuck in the door – it said ‘We couldn’t get into your property to fix a gas leak, so we’ve turned the gas off.’

Now, kudos on turning the gas off and averting a possible blowing-up-of-the-house kind of situation. However, that’s where the kudos ended. Tried ringing the Customer Service Line – spoke to a man called Colin who spend 17.5 minutes telling me that the gas leak was a danger and by law they had to turn the gas off. “That’s fine, Colin,” I sez. “I appreciate not being blown up. But (and this is the important bit, Colin, so please pay attention) HOW DO I GET IT FIXED? TO WHOM DO I TURN?”

An hour and a half on the phone and a microwaved dinner later (and steak is just not the same microwaved, believe me), I’m finally passing it over to the landlord to deal with. But the story doesn’t end here, oh no. 7am thudding on door. It’s Mark from the gas company: “The young fella is here – can we run some tests?” Yes, yes you can. The young fella is about 12yo (although he is now downstairs smoking – comforting seeing as how he’s working with GAS!), and he’s established Yeah, there’s a leak. Nah, can’t do anything about it. Yeah, you hafta get a plumber. Nah, can’t refer anyone. Yeah, that sucks.

I have handed it all over to the landlord. I am going to get ready for work. I will get there eventually. How do I get off the planet? *sigh*