You win this time, gravity

Well, less gravity than genetic disposition to a prolapsed disk at L4-L5.

On Wednesday last I felt a ‘ping’ in my back, followed by a ‘twang’ … sure signs that I’ve not been stretching enough and have been wearing high heels too many days in a row … and sure as eggs by Thursday morning (in spite of a lot of stretching on Wednesday night, which, yes, counts as closing the stable door after the horse has bolted) my lower back was no longer speaking to me … and the upper back had gone out in sympathy with the lower back in protest at my neglect.

To wit: I have been in bed for almost 3 days now and I am bored out of my gourd. Oh, I’ve been writing and reading (Nemesis the Warlock graphic novels, volumes 1 & 2; Karen Joy Fowler’s The Jane Austen Book Club; Veniss Underground by the VanderMeer) … and watching eps of Big Bang Theory (for the provision of which I am eternally grateful to The Old Man of the Mountains – even if that sentence is ungrammatical in the extreme). I shuffle out to the kitchen on occasion, stock up on choclit, hotcross buns and coffee to help the painkillers do their duty, and shuffle back to my nest. If I order pizza again, I think the delivery guy is going to think I’m coming onto him.

And so a list of things that a bad back renders difficult:

1. Underpants – or indeed the application of any kind of lower body covering. A lot of slithering is required and I suspect there may be some serpent in my DNA.

2. Picking things up off the floor – to this end, almost all of my possessions are now perched on things that are waist-high, including my shoes.

3. Getting into the hot, relaxing epsom salts bath.

4. Getting out of the hot, relaxing epsom salts bath.

5. Shaving one’s legs.

6. The application of shoes.

The upside? I get to stay in bed! The issue is that it’s enforced upon me … and like all children the moment my choice is taken away, I get fractious … so what might otherwise appear to be a kind of Nerdvana (a horizontal Easter with internetz, pizza and choclit) is now … well, it’s like being sent to my room … by God.

And this is my view:

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9 Responses to You win this time, gravity

  1. Lynne Green says:

    Cute toes and cute knees and books. It could be a lot worse.

  2. angelaslatter says:

    True. I could not have a comfy bed and lots of reading material.

  3. Hexebart says:

    Forgive me. This sounds like heaven.

  4. angelaslatter says:

    And if there was not pain, it would be! 🙂

  5. Flinthart says:

    Bwahhahaaaaa… oh, dear. I shouldn’t be laughing, should I? Except you wrote so amusingly well, and the photo is so very appropos…

    Ahem.

    1) Sorry to hear about the spine. When you’re vertical again, take up Judo. Both of my parents were complete slaves to their spinal problems. I’m taller even than you. And despite the fact that I spend a couple hours a week picking up and hurling about people as heavy as I am, or more, my back remains in relentlessly good order. The martial arts habits are incredibly good for your back. (But ask me about my knees sometime… oy!)

    2) For all the complaints about leg-shaving, I note the legs in the photo are beautifully kept. And the toenail polish is dee-vine, dahling. I hope you’re not complaining about that view!

    3) But for the fiendish cropping of the photo, we could even have confirmed the underpants rumours for ourselves… Nice knees, by the way. I’m used to looking at mine (ruefully) and they show every day of 20–odd years of martial arts…

    Get well soon!

  6. angelaslatter says:

    😛

  7. skaldi says:

    Sympathies! My back went out (lower spine) four times in one year. Each time the only solution was lying on a flat hard surface to put it back in place. That year I was going to the gym! So much for exercise helping.

    Anyway, hope you feel better soon.

    Oh, and I put my back out once by sneezing, of all things!

    Skaldi

  8. Charles Tan says:

    Hope you recover soon.

    *have some choc-lit and coffee*

    Although those are lovely legs and toes.

  9. Bugger. Hope you’re on the mend. Back pain is wretched.