Courtesy of my friend and colleague, Aimee, the latest Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for bad writing. I had been contemplating a post on writing love scenes badly, but I think this takes the biscuit:
“For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss – a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.”
Read more: http://www.news.com.au/world/a-thirsty-gerbils-kiss-takes-out-the-best-bad-writing-of-2010-competition/story-e6frfkyi-1225886273210#ixzz0sJV1fGwL
Ew.
And by that, I mean eeeeeeewwwwwww.
Gerbils & water bottles huh. Okay, I need to go scrape my eyes & clean out my brain from that imagery.
…right.
That’s truly disturbing. Well done.